Soul Mate Search Light

you're NOT looking for just any man/wombman you're NOT looking for someone "man enough" "woman enough" to be with you becuase you're just so unique and different... cause honestly... WHO ISN"T???) no you're not looking for just any MAN/WOMAN.... BUT... you ARE looking for the exact combination of what "MAN/WOMAN enough" is... JUST for YOU. you ARE looking for the perfect puzzle of a person where... 1. your "issues" and "traumas" are like medicine to them because they are their exact "issues" to !!! (or equally opposite which is essentially the same thing). Sooooooo.... knowing about your deepest traumas is NOT repelling to them but rather a bonded/tender devotion to simply witn

The TRIGGER CHART

Holy FUCK fighting with your loved ones sucks!!!!! ...but the truth about arguing is that those intense distressed feelings are crucial information for the health of your honest relationship...soooooo... HOW TO FIGHT WITHOUT DYING INSIDE HOW TO GET OUT THOSE HURT FEELINGS WITHOUT MURDERING EACH OTHER in answer to these soul searching questions...I developed the TRIGGER CHART...IT's dope...check it out

In Conflict discussion...take turns

If you are in a conflict discussion with someone...make sure you take turns. Don't try and unravel both upsets at the same time that will inevitably turn into a "you did this!!!" "but you did THIS!!!" "you hurt me...!!!!" " only after you hurt me first!!!" " NOOOOOO way!!!!! YOU HURT MEEEEEEE FIRST!!!!" and so on... escalating until stalemate-attack-and cut off over shadow all loving impulse to listen and connect BOTH UPSETS ARE EQUALLY VALID and UNDERSTANDABLE therefore...take turns. Tiffany goes first and says... "when you did this I felt like this...." Tiffany gets all the time she needs to express her Yucky feelings about what Travis did last night. And Travis says... "I h

You can't control how you are Loved

you can't control how you are loved by another. but you CAN control how you love the other. it takes a SHIT TON of practise... but steering your thoughts towards love and understanding... instead of condemnation, attack and blame... is entirely within your powers. it's a learned skill... to attack and blame... we have spent generations upon generations teaching condemnation cut off and revenge to our children... therefore it is also a RE LEARNED skill to forgive To widen your perspective to include compassion widen it to include understanding...and curiosity about what the other was feeling when they hurt you so...and so.. and so again... its a RE LEARNED skill to remember that you

Refusal to talk about a problem

Refusal to talk about a problem keeps it alive. The confused energy needs an outlet. If you ignore it, and refuse to hold intentional space to unravel the painful experience it will find a way out...sometimes attacking people that aren't even involved... you are worth the effort .... the story is full of emotions that are actually our food/nourishment. I believe, if we let our emotions flow and express, we would be a lot less addicted to stuff...as a society. Emotions are food. ENERGY. Get curious about them. GO shopping for them. Have your dear friend over for a meal of emotions. Share your perspectives of a hurt event that got both of you stuck in a pain body Remember...both people ar

Compassion is non duality

Compassion is non duality seeing beyond right and wrong merely listening and letting in the story of that shitty thing they did nothing to protect yourself from you are safe... to merely listen and understand. (what do I need to think in order to feel safe with you meanie person?) If I don't understand how a person could hurt me could hurt another It's because I haven't finished my curiosity yet. There is something about what that person has done that terrifies me...on a deep fundamental survival level and that's why I haven't yet been able to merely listen Listen and let them be different from me without protecting myself from that difference that's compassion...letting the story be a c

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