Being direct and feeling safe to do so
People feel safe around direct- honest- people.
They speak their minds and we know where we stand with them. Indirect people… people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they’re feeling, cannot be trusted. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. And it may often catch US ALL by surprise. Painful Confusing volatile Surprise. Indirect Energy is often more hurtful than the truth.
Directness saves time and energy. It removes us as victims. YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM WHEN YOU ARE DIRECT. Directness dispenses with martyrdom and game playing.
It helps us own our power and creates respectful authentic relationships based on who we really are… moment-to-moment.
It actually feels safe to be around direct honest people. This safety comes from truth not from illusion. Be one of these people.
Is there a person you’re being indirect with? Is there a person in your life you’re scared to share your truth with? If you’re scared- is it because you are feeling unsafe? Perhaps consider , that in your hiding — you are unsafe for others.
Because you are not direct , the truth of your feelings could come out at any moment …often in ways that are hurtful and confusing to yourself and and the people around you.
Take some time to explore ways you can approach this conversation and feel safe. Maybe you need to talk your feelings over with someone else first. Maybe you need to talk it over many many times. Maybe you need someone neutral, like a trusted friend or counselor ( thats me!) to help with direct safe communication. But eventually, if you want to experience Authentic safety in your relationships, we have to come to the realization that even though your “truth” might be hurtful or scary to speak or hear It’s alot scarier and more hurtful to hide it. Eventually It is gonna come out… whether it comes out in an intentional, honest, conversation …that invites curious -open
-on going- dialogue
Is up to you and me!!!
( This rant is INDIRECT because it implies that you can be one or the other when in fact everyone is direct and indirect at different points on our journey to bravery)
This Rant is authored by 2 people Me and Melody Beattle- author of the MIRACULOUS BOOK called The language of letting go)