You can't control how you are Loved
you can't control how you are loved by another. but you CAN control how you love the other.
it takes a SHIT TON of practise... but steering your thoughts towards love and understanding... instead of condemnation, attack and blame... is entirely within your powers.
it's a learned skill... to attack and blame... we have spent generations upon generations teaching condemnation cut off and revenge to our children...
therefore it is also a RE LEARNED skill to forgive
To widen your perspective to include compassion
widen it to include understanding...and curiosity about what the other was feeling when they hurt you so...and so.. and so again...
its a RE LEARNED skill to remember that you are safe and lovable regardless of what the other is up to
If you felt safe...you would never attack back...
and they would never attack to begin with...if they felt safe
Abraham-Hicks quote (paraphrased by me!)
Someone's love for you Someone's hatred for you neither of them has anything to do with you.
It means I am in charge of how I feel when someone loves me...
that is them loving them
nothing to do with me.