The soulmate misconception

The concept of "the ONE" has to be blown out of the firkin universal waters once and for all because it is majorly holding us back as a society. The one true love....the matrix movie Neo crap There is no ONE...And this is NOT sad news..NOT AT ALL. Like zillions of boys and girls I spent most of my life chasing the concept of THE ONE. This perfect match made in heaven relationship that would supply me with tenderness kisses, tummy butterflies, family and naturally ,hot hot sex. F O R EVER. And I've been in my fair share of serious relationships. Two of them for 7 years each. And like most girlie girls, Ive spent countless hours listening to the love stories of all my friends. Yet I have never seen a ONE materialize and stick around EVER with any of us. Sorry ladies, I gotta say it. There is always something wrong or slightly off . If only he were more like this or he didn't live so far away or she was more like my ex or wanted the same lifestyle as me or we didn't fight so much...ETC FOREVER. Sometimes the relationship seems like perfection in the beginning.... but as the years go by lessons/ karma set in and each partner is left with the same feelings they had before they found each other....Right where they left them. It sounds grim I know....But stick with me....its actually the WAY to get tons of sex, connection and support....Because it comes from YOU...this is not a cliche...its a MAP. The special someONE concept keeps people from diving deeply into the connections that aren't necessarily sexual but could be hugely expanding and evolving. "Oh he doesn't look or act like my true love so Ill have to cut this conversation short and keep looking for him." You've heard the adage "when you are looking for something..... It won't come!" This is because when you are looking you are simultaneously telling the "universe" that you dont have it. There fore you won't...DoH!!!... But now a steep deeper....Even when you do "find the ONE" by the very nature of saying that the one is OVER there and NOT IN YOU...You are lieiing and displacing the energy that will bring US ALL together in utopian bliss and harmony.....See if everyone really realized their was NO ONE, we would bring all that searching energy back home inside ourselves where it belongs and we would become so powerful--- so desirable----SO FUNCTIONAL ... that we would never dream of calling ONE person the one or even needing to say that at all. And Im not saying you couldn't spend your entire life in bed with the same person..YOU TOTALLY CAN..you just wouldn't HAVE TO HAVE THAT to be COMPLETELY STOKED.....We as a community would have SOOOOOOO much to share that we would never dream of bothering to make someone so special that there could never be another to love......We would be equally happy no matter how few or how many, lovers we racked up....You would have epic carears full of inspiring people doin epic projects of care and creativity....you would be multi travelling through visionary aspects of your own heart/body and mind.... If you are always dreaming of a saviour coming along, its easy to avoid dealing with your real time connections especially the ones that aren't working so good. and then you don't grow...and you end up with nothing but baggage to offer your next partner...nasty cycle this looking outside the self thing is eh? No wonder people get so grouched out when they've been around the block a few times..... Its also easy to avoid your creative callings....Those nagging awesome feelings of "I WAS PUT ON EARTH TO DO THIS AND IT SCARES THE SHIT OUTA ME" "Let me avoid it by searching for a mate and then doing tons of STRESSFUL MAINTENANCE to keep this mate with me..... mine ALL MINE." The ONE concept causes a HUGE waste of creative energy. By making you search and search believing you are less if you can't find one.......And then when you DO find "ONE"..... the waste goes into MAKING SURE he or she NEVER LEAVES. Avoiding your creative purposes (which are often scary as hell) and putting all your creative energy into "fixing" problems with your lover. AND... The chasing your tail concept of THE ONE causes us to constantly compare who we are presently fucking with IDEALS that can never be met by a person outside ourselves no matter how many lovers you try. It keeps us from guilt free exploration with our present LOVE BUDDY and urges us to shut them out because they don't live up to THE ONE in our heads. This is a power trip that never works. Seem familiar? "oh you are just not right for me.... I must break it off with you...my ONE would never behave/smell like that....." and then we feel like we are letting ourselves down when we go right back to fucking these peeps. WHAT A WASTE!!! Instead of enjoying the ride until the BREAK UP is natural and absolute...I am not saying you should stay with folks that don't reflect your values but I am saying that your energy would be better spent completely focusing on what you have to offer...YOUR GIFTS!!!.. and offering them.... rather then fixating on an illusive other and a picture perfect "someday" It's a slight shift in thinking that changes everything although it may not look that different from the outside. Your partnerships may look exactly the same but you'll feel happier. You'll be more available for your fellow humans and creative projects. And when relationships do "end" it isn't traumatic. Its a ritual of gratitude and well wishing......Gets you clean and ready for the next big romp which comes right away like water filling spaces. (if you want) There is also the false idea that if relationships don't last till death do us part then they were a failure of sorts instead of a wonderfully expanding growth opportunity that is leading you to wholeness. The idea that since these lovers, that we spent time touching adoring and attending to, were surely not THE ONE so they must have been a waste of time, is keeping us from fully appreciating the human gifts spirit is offering us RIGHT NOW. When Eckart Tolle speaks about THE NOW, what he means is that every moment is THE ONE and that THE ONE is in US. Each of US for ourselves and then OFFERED indiscriminately moment to moment to whatever spirit sends us. ONE night STANDS are equally "the ONE". Why is it a failure to have a string of adventures with many instead of a lifelong connection? I've had many long term partners and I consider it an exciting possibility that throughout my life I could have several more. I LOVE getting to know people inside and out for long periods of time that let you go deep deep deep. Intimate relationship is life's most fabulous TIMELESS treasure no matter how it all gets sliced up. My advise (to myself) is....Stop labeling relationships and LIVE THEM...labeling is merely a desire to make secure what is meant to be insecure. Because thats what makes life exciting and fresh. It could last forever and sometimes it does....But if it HAS TO...watch out...you might be caging the very thing you fell in love with....

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