Bossy is not always an insult
Being called Bossy is an insult and that truly saddens me. It saddens me that potentially great ideas and or great collaborations (or simply just the potential for surprise and fun) dissolve around the stigma.
Essentially we are afraid of hurt feelings ( both our own and the other) so we shut down the flow of ideas and leadership impulse to keep from hurting each other.
-being bossy can also be looked at as spontaneity. I think a lot of people fear spontaneity. They fear something out of their control is gonna happen and potentially hurt them. This fear is not completely unfounded but when it becomes a programmed response to change even in response to people you wish to collaborate/socialize with... then it might be a problem.
Caution is somewhat warranted when dealing with your employers. Bossing around your Boss might not go well... but when trepidation to share your ideas leaks into your social circles, creative collaborations and intimate partnerships... then we might have a problem.
I want to live in a world where being called Bossy is a compliment. Where everyone is Bossy yet simultaneously in service to each other because EVERYONE has PERFECTLY GREAT ideas at different times.
Traditionally the image of BOSS is someone who TELLS YOU WANT TO DO. NOT the other way around.
So when someone is called bossy in a social setting it implies that the energy of leadership is only going in one direction and that is unacceptable.
I want to reclaim the term bossy to be a compliment that everyone can enjoy. If you are a true boss you get just as much satisfaction suggesting ideas as you do following "orders". If you are a true BOSS then your ideas are shared with openness and flexibility as opposed to dogma and punishment.
To me Leaders are not individuals. A Leader is a PERSON that embodies the LEADERSHIP ENERGY for any given time All people in a group are leaders and the lead jumps around like play on kids.
we have become a culture of passive/aggression and suppressed suggestion. we hide our impulses with niceties, over thinking and needless timidity. in case we are looked on as bossy in case people feel offended and imposed on
and that truly saddens me.
I am a pretty bossy person (surprise!!! Im talking aboout myself.) I have a shitload of ideas flying through my head at any given time and they usually involve other people because I LOVE OTHER PEOPLE! I want to be with other PEOPLE! I want to CREATE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
I think a lot of the Bossy issue stems from a belief that we don't have choices. That we are not allowed to say NO and still be a good person. When someone suggests something and you don't totally agree with the suggestion what happens for you? How do you react on average?
I like to imagine I am a child surrounded by other children I feel very safe with and excited to create with. We are creating worlds together and everyone is deeply invested in getting the most joy out of our time together.
Were you a bossy child or a bossed around child?? Did you develop the idea that your ideas won't be accepted? Do you feel like you have to rebel/close down/ defend??
I hope someday we have such clear powerful FLEXIBLE communication that BOSSY becomes a compliment. Just like gorgeous or efficient or clever
Damn Girl! You Bossy today! I love it!!!