Why Couples Counselling...?
Are you feeling stuck in patterns of miscommunication with your partner or friend or roomate or family member... the same issues keep coming up... over and over...
AHHHHH FUCK
we're doing it again!!!!!
We can, so quickly, in our hurt and confusion...
become a blockhead or spaz-case when communicating upset
And then all possibility of hearing each other goes out the window
leaving you isolated, confused and mistrustful...
Or maybe you're not fighting out loud... but are instead...holding your true feelings back for fear of your partners reactions?
The Unsaid eating away at your well being....poisoning the connection in unexpressed but very tangible ways.
So...here's why... it can be soooooo helpful to get MEDIATION...
Sometimes, when we try to talk it over
with just our PARTNER (or ALL ALONE IN OUR MINDS)
we end up throwing defensive power trips back and forth, continuing the cycle of violent communication and hurtful avoidance.
and sometimes talking it over makes it even worse...WTF???
That's because...
it can be too much to ask... from our conflicted partners
to be calm and supportive
whilst you talk about the hurtful ways you perceive each other.
You're both upset and confused!!! TO MUCH TO ASK TO BE HURT AND SUPPORTIVE AT THE SAME TIME!!! TO MUCH!!!
Let the counsellor do the supportive part for awhile...
Should those pesky defensive reactions start to surface again..... let the counsellor remind you
that even though you are in upset...it is not unsolvable...and you are both STILL LOVABLE.
Each partner starts the session saying something like this...
"Even though we have different perspectives about our relationship struggles
and even though your perspective may hurt and confuse me
as mine could also hurt you
I promise to listen to your experience
and ask for help when I am not able to listen"
The counselor is there to help both parties find the receptive space to feel and communicate what's going on inside...it won't be perfect ...but it will be a start... and if you stay with it there will be a finish....an end to misunderstanding.
we've gotta start letting the world in and communicating in new ways....trying things...Trusting...taking steps to be cared for...
In tribal cultures, there are specific people that help their tribe with conflict...Our disconnected nuclear families have forgotten how to ask for help...We have forgotten we are not alone. We isolate ourselves within our conflicted relationships
Let someone else listen with you every once in awhile
It's so hard being on earth a lot of the time...you're doing such a kind thing by asking for help...
Relationship Counselling can help you create new ways
of seeing each other...of communicating
dynamically and authentically....
that can be hard to do at first
but once you get the hang of it...
it's yours to use
and cherish
between the both of you.
