When someone is cruel to you

January 18, 2018

 

YOU, friend, have been a super dick to me

but I will not cut you off in my heart.

I will work steady and constant to not cut you off in my heart.

because that would be saying I don't love u anymore and I know that I do. 

Instead of protecting myself from you

by cutting u off-and TELLING YOU OFF- in my head all day long...

 thereby declaring emotional etherical warfare...

 

Instead I will let the complexity of human love envelope me

wash over me

moment to confusing -agonizing- gnawing moment 

The tragedy of unraveling and truly understanding what it takes to be 

 ACTUALLY forgiving...

I will let the pain of loving u meet the joy of knowing u

I will let them have tea together inside of me

talk it over and console each other 

And eventually at the tea time table
They will sigh and admit that they can do nothing but wait and get to know each other 
The love and pain I feel for u

I will not cut u off in my heart and mind

The soldiers of REVENGE and POWER HUNGER will knock on the door

but no you can't come to tea with the pain and the love

 

Because even though it feels REALLY FUCKING GOOD for awhile

To be justified and PISSED 

In the end it only serves to make me 

a liar ( cause it says I don't love you)

and a bully ( I contemplate how to make you pay)

 

and I don't want to live in a world with either so I must accept the pain of loving you

Right along side with the joy of knowing you

and that, my friend, is how to become an angel.

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