one of the greatest most relieving things about growing up or as they say
-growing older- is...
You can let go of the anxious drive to
FINALLY BE SOMEBODY.
"For CHRIST FUCKING SAKE JANE
you have to get MUCH MUCH better
at all these talents and skills you have
(or wish you had more of)
so that you can FINALLY BE SOMEBODY and FINALLY BE LOVED / REVERED and/or SECURE!!!!"
So much stress
over all of those things
and the more GROWN UP I get
the less I seem to strive to MAKE something of myself
and the more I simply CREATE
OF WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME.
"lets me off the hook" so to speak
So that I can create and connect with others
because I LOVE TO!!!!!
Not because doing these things
or talking to these certain people
will FINALLY LET ME
MAKE something of myself.
Growing up lets me
sink into love
and my environment
without always placing value on it
"is this worth my time? are YOUUUUUUU worth my moment?
Will you get me anything? I am trying to BE SOMEBODY dont ya know!
how EXHAUSTING that was!
Now I can just chill
and create like a child again
growing up is the difference between MAKE something
and CREATE something
is pure listening and responding
is to GET
cause you don't have
so YOU BETTER GET IT
( and where does ego threats to create ever get us?)
Growing up reminds me that I don't have to BE SOMEBODY
it reminds me
of the obvious
I already am somebody
and that somebody is a mystery to me....so the constant wishing and STRIVING to be somebody is kinda pointless
I already am what I am going to be.
and that is a mystery.