Surviving without the relationship

December 2, 2017

If you can’t see yourself surviving without the relationship 
then you are giving to get on some level.”


Quote by one of my fav Clearmind teachers…Joanie Tara


And that is not actual LOVE 
I relate to this concept and have used it every fucking day of my adult life. 

I spend meditative time- when I am in relationship with someone I really really love- Imagining how I would be just as joyful / fulfilled without them as my main buddy squeeze.


That way-I remind myself who I am actually in relationship with at all times-MYSELF.

It helps me remember that-
My partner is an ever-changing
movable human — who’s only true relationship is with their self. And that life is a FUCKING MYSTERY and we just don’t know where our path is gonna take us


If I can’t imagine myself crying/dying or dumping-
and still being whole and connected 
then I am in relationship with an idea of someone-
expecting them to make me whole. Not an actual person.
I am “loving” an IDEA.


That being said…..this very concept I am raving about can also be used to AVOID INTIMACY.

It can be used to keep one foot out the door
never really letting yourself fall into surrender / vulnerability
Never letting lovers see my pain.


This concept can be used to “spiritually justify” jumping from relationship to relationship 
and hiding our fear of not being good enough
Behind a mask of independent bravado…




And I must delicately balance and observe myself
to see which side of the same coin I am nurturing…


Because all the deepest most truest concepts 


_In the irony and chaos that is the emotional human experience-be gentle with yourselves puppy cats- 
It’s so evilly tough being human sometimes…
And you are definitely doing your best no matter who you are.

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