I feel like its got a pretty bad rep and that people sometimes use it to disregard and even SHAME the deeper messier more confusing feelings of others.
I often observe the person with the more intense expression as extremely BRAVE because they are willing to get messy and risky and CURIOUS!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?? WHY AM I FEELING THIS?? WHAT IS WRONG HERE???
This person seems somewhat “braver” to me then the one saying the extremely popular “I don’t do drama”
“this is a waste of my time.”
“ its their shit not mine”
there is not a single emotion that belongs only to one person.
Every upset belongs to everyone in some shape or form.
Find out how it belongs to you and BE PRESENT.
Dealing openly and honestly about your REAL FEELINGS and holding space for another person’s feelings IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME.
In the long run, I guarantee, it is actually EFFICIENT AS FUCK because issues never GO AWAY.
They just fester and re form in other relationships.
So even if you are not the one with the intense feelings, your job is NOT AVOIDING the intense feelings of others.
That’s your work. and it isn’t going anywhere.
So basically this popular meme of NO DRAMA, often looks like our dysfunctional society supporting each other to run from intense feelings.
To not only run,but shame and ridicule those who have them and are asking to be heard.
I am not saying that there isn’t a time when people simply need to face their fears and stop trying to include others in what is essentially their issue to change.
I AM saying that it will Never WORK to shame them or isolate them or call them out as purely DRAMATIC.
… when our first reaction is to run from confrontation and upset by labelling it drama or not our problem…Is that disguising a deeper feeling of fear of getting messy ourselves?
Or to look at how we contribute to the “DRAMA” to begin with???
And what does it say about our ability to be in community and long term relationship?
Human connection is sometimes easy and breezy and sometimes messy as fuck….will you run from the guck?
Or (what I think is ACTUALLY the time efficient version)
will you hold space and listen and create boundaries from a place of open hearted love and listening…???
Feel with each other. That shit is evolutionary